touch my face

3:09 AM: Lukas in bed. Asleep. Cuddling with Lisa. Scandalous.

This past night he watched some sketchy Dustin Hoffman film which seemed like it was from a little later than 'the graduate' but around the same time maybe. His character was some sort of mathematics researcher living in the UK. Lots of sketchy sex and sketchy behaviour and sketchy characters and sketchy interactions. 

Most importantly is that the movie was recommended by movie store girl (msg hereafter)(nah fuck that, it will stay movie store girl). So I don't know if this will slowly bring them closer - but next time Lukas is in the movie store he will have some common ground to talk about. I wonder if he will pretend he liked it, as it is her number one pick. If he can somehow move the conversation toward Lord of the Rings and some crazy shit like Rohan or Gandorlf or the hobbit movie by peter jackson(?) (dear god I could  be wrong, but I might be right) in a way that is not awkward this might be the best bet. 

He watched the movie with Naomi. My sources tell me they didn't do anything freaky, but we'll keep you up to date on developing news. 

Nothing up to date on the missed connection yet. Developments to come in the next few weeks i'm sure. Her name is maybe Yosha, or something of that nature. Nobody remembers her. Meh. 

This is also an exciting time because Lukas just started work. Maybe there is some potential in a co-worker...? 

We have an investigative reporter on deep cover working to figure out if Lukas masturbates before bed, after waking up, lefty/righty, etc. Basically just masturbation 'stats', if you will. Will post once we know for sure. 

If I keep up this posting volume it would be so sick. 

And yes, I misspelled "Gandolf" on purpose because I thought you assholes would get a kick out of my amateurish lack of LOTR knowledge. Bite it. 

fuck fuck no that's good.

This is a blog about Lukas' love life.

We're sick of not living vicariously through him.

He's a fucking babe. Over the past few minutes days weeks whatever

there have been some goings on in the love life of Lukas. 

For all intents and purposes love could mean a whole lot of different shit.

Lukas will be regularly checking this blog to figure out what the fuck is up

with his love life. He is obviously clueless, so he needs this as much as you and me

and Lisa and other people. 

Make no mistake, motherfucker is a catch. This blog is not meant to sell the Lukas, though. 

Nor is it meant to convince of Lukas' prowess at giving affection, fucks, bee-js, fingerjobs, oral, kind words, encouragement, suggestive glances, etc. and let me tell you - it's prowess. This

blog is to keep you up to date on how all the goings on in his complex love life are progressing.

You fucking wish. That's all I can say.

Now that we've established Lukas may or may not be out of your league - and that you

should not consider this blog as a Lukas marketing tool - we can get down to the dirty

business of gossiping on some sick-to-fuck-in fresh Lukas Love News. 

In the coming posts we will delve into Lukas' ongoing relationship with his dog, Lisa. 

They're inseparable. Some cuddling, nothing sexual. More like father and daughter maybe?

Unconditional as fuck, yo. 

Lukas totally got a godddammmn mercury "I saw you" posted about him. That's tight we'll update that frequently.

There is a video store girl. She's probably perfect for him. He's probably too shy to talk to her.

Frequently sprinkled in between is a whole lotta unrequited love sent in the direction of a seemingly endless supply of gay girls. Solid. 

Some would say his standards are too high.

His love is pretty pure, and he probably disapproves of this blog. 

If at any point somebody feels uncomfortable about anything posted here, please let us know

and we will be sure to respectfully meet any reasonable requests. It's more for fun than 

anything.

And lastly, it might be good to add that Lukas does not endorse this blog at all. Anything written here does not have pre-approval from Lukas. If I say some chilly shit, don't go blaming him - he's an innocent. This blog does not speak for Lukas. 

Also it will not be checked for spelling, grammar or coherence - so you can just fuck right off.