slam - JAM! that's how i beat shaq!

I snapped some photos of Lukas while he was sleeping. I was going to maybe wake him up and have him pretend he was sleeping in a funny pose, but I went in and his ass was hanging out of his sleeping bag anyways - which was good enough for me. 

before I talk about Lukas' love life I just want to say a quick fuck you to all the haters in my life. You told me I would amount to nothing, but here I am dick weeds, amounting to something! My blog is fucking famous and you're just a doofus. To all the people and trees and animals and stuff reading my blog that aren't just doofus heads (didn't know how to pluralize doofus so i made it into the adjective and added a easily pluralizable noun-ski), thanks for making me famous and loving my blog so much. You can vote for my blog in that favorite blogs contest that all the people love and stuff. 

Video store girl and Lukas talked. On a phone. They made elaborate plans to something. I heard something about playing the "new" Zelda (everyone knows they stopped making zelda years ago LDO) (LDO = lol duh obviously, btw for future referencing) with her housemates. There might have even been a mention of drinking beers. She's supposedly rockin' the commuting to college thing while working toward some sort of something that, to be honest, isn't scandalous enough for me to speak about. Something about pictures for national geographic. 

Monday night peace girl from work came to the potluck. She seemed really nice. She was sort of quiet and just kind of followed Lukas around semi-obediently. I don't see what he doesn't see in her. Juuuust kidding. So she kept texting him a whole bunch - like. Seemed like she was way into trying to make magic happen through the power of seductive text. Though none of the texts were really sexual. Sext Messaging. Monday Lukas lied to her and told her that he wasn't really wanting a relationship. He gave some stupid romantic line about not being sure about monogamy on top of it. Sounds like somebody is going to be getting a visit from the herpov sometime soon. ABC strategy, Lukas. Abstinence. Be Faithful. Condomize. But don't condomize. You and I both know, the only safe sex is no sex at all. Anyways apparently he was really nice about it or something. From his account of the story she seemed to have taken it well.

I take this to mean he somehow trainwrecked it and ruined her life. If you're reading this, peace girl, please stop. 

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If you're still reading this - Lukas ain't half the gender-neutral man you are girl (still fucked up gender superiority implications!!! niiice). You deserve better.  Lukas is just a filthy herp trap. My mom once told me, "You stay away from that boy's penis - it seems like a delicious maple bar...but it's really a diphtheria sandwich - a not good tasting one."

I'm sure we'll here first hand accounts from the front line about awkwardness between them in the near future. I'm hoping for some sort of handjob scandal. YESSSSS.

So there is another girl at work that Lukas was all in love with or something. They got in trouble today for neglecting the kids because they were too busy doing that lousy awkward foreplay to foreplay thing. You know...talking. Apparently there were some young kids exploring and celebrating each others bodies while Lukas and this girl ignored them - carrying on a conversation while on the job. How the fuck are these kids going to learn to shame their bodies unless they're monitored and corrected constantly?

Lukas was totally gushing about her on a bike ride home from square dancing. He first started by saying he wasn't into her. Then shit got out of control. I puked in my mouth a little from how happy I was to hear him recount how great she is. She's a model. and doesn't shave her armpits. What a boy. 

Before this, on the way to the Bye and Bye hipster vegan capitalist bar place Lukas held hands with Naomi!!!! Nobody holds hands unless they're fuckin'. That would be dumb. Ergo, Lukas and Naomi are doing it. You heard it hear first. Prematurely. And probably wrongly. But yeah, they held hands and prior to that had a 2 hour "dude, seriously". I think that means conversational of a serious nature. Soul mates? AFAIK no. But maybe. 

Video store girl rocked the shafting on Lukas. Not in the good and maybe weird but sort of freaky and awesome way. She said she would call for the video games on Tuesday. I guess she just didn't. What a bleh. She is on a time out from being cool to me. Maybe something fucked up happened? I hope not. Ghost ride the hope not. 

Missed connection didn't show up to squaredancing. Duummmmb. Who does she think she is, all writing missed connections and not showing up. If she was a sandwich she would be a peanut butter and lame. Just kidding i'm sure she's nice. 

Women in Lukas' life, you're disappointing me. 

VSG is supposed to go contra dancing. I hope that happens. 

I can't help but think that i'm missing something big in Lukas' love life. 

I want some guess posters on this thing. 

I don't think I said anything about shipping it this entire time. 

wowowowineedalife.